The Modern Baby Shower: How a New Generation Is Rethinking Traditions

Baby showers aren’t the same today as they were 15 or 20 years ago; today’s showers are less about the inherited traditions from previous generations, and more about expecting parents celebrating their journey to parenthood in a way that feels truly personal to them. From who plans the party to what actually happens once everyone arrives, the modern baby shower isn’t “on trend”; it’s being thoughtfully reimagined.

More Parents Are Planning Their Own Showers

Likely the biggest shift with the most staying-power: Expecting parents are increasingly involved in planning—or even hosting—their own baby showers.

According to Pam Kuzon, a user experience researcher here at Babylist, this isn’t a passing trend. “The idea of the expecting parents having more of a role in the shower is going to persist and potentially only grow,” she says.

In surveying and interviewing real Babylist users and expecting parents, Kuzon has noticed a few running themes that point to reasons behind this change:

It’s a way to feel more in control during a big transition

Pregnancy and early parenthood come with a lot of unknowns, and very little control. Being involved in planning their own baby shower can give expecting parents more agency. “I hear a lot from registrants during this time that one thing they don’t have is control,” Kuzon says. “They don’t have control over their bodies. They don’t have control over this giant change that’s coming fast in their lives…but they can plan a party.”

Don’t discount how much comfort that sense of control can bring, even over something like a baby shower, and even if it’s in lieu of trusted loved ones planning and/or hosting. As one Babylist parent shared, “Even though we had offers from friends to host, we wanted to have something at our house and preferred doing it ourselves.”

It helps avoid awkwardness

For many expecting parents, planning their own baby shower means avoiding moments that might feel uncomfortable. According to Kuzon’s research, many Babylist parents say they don’t like being the center of attention. And a lot of the more traditional baby shower activities involve exactly that—think opening gifts in front of everyone and playing certain games like guessing mom’s belly size.

It’s one thing for the baby shower to feel like it fits your personality and is in honor of you as a new parent; it’s another thing to be trapped in an awkward activity that you didn’t plan for. “We heard a lot of parents say, ‘If I’m involved, I can make sure we don’t do all these cheesy games,’” Kuzon says. “Or if someone says, ‘Do you want to open gifts?’ Parents can say, ‘Oh, no. Let’s not do that.’”

Instead of bracing for surprises, parents can relax, knowing the celebration will reflect what they actually want (and skip what they don’t).

It helps ensure the vibe actually fits

Expecting parents tend to be more heavily involved (or do the whole thing themselves) especially when they know that they want a specific kind of gathering. When they have a say, the shower is more likely to reflect their unique personality, values and energy level. “It’s kind of like this identity thing,” Kuzon says. “They want their shower to be a representation of who they are.”

Personalized Themes

One way to curate a very personalized vibe is through the shower’s theme. Kuzon says a lot of parents are choosing themes centered around their favorite things, rather than baby-centric motifs. “We see themes around favorite movies, like a Jurassic Park themed shower or a Lord of the Rings themed shower. Or Super Bowl baby showers if they’re into football.”

The point isn’t the specific details; it’s ensuring that the overall vibe of the occasion feels personal, familiar and unmistakably them.

Casual Locations

With today’s new parents, casual and personal is the name of the game, which means fewer venues like clubhouses and banquet halls. Instead, it’s all about leaning more into casual spaces that can hold smaller, more intimate crowds (like backyards, cafes, breweries and even bowling alleys). One expecting parent told us, “I've actually been to a brewery baby shower, and that was my favorite baby shower I've ever been to just because of the casualness.”

Smaller, More Inclusive Guest Lists

Instead of the traditional singular, major gathering, we heard from a lot of parents who are having multiple smaller, more intimate showers with different groups of people.

Sometimes it’s about geography. Other times, it’s about the vibes and making space for different styles of celebrating. “I’m having two showers, one coordinated by my mom and aunt specifically for family,” one parent told us. “The other shower is being coordinated by me and my husband for our friends.”

Another parent described a similar split: “My first [shower] is just a small family one with extended family—more traditional. Our second one is a joint diaper party/shower! With food and a bar and just a chance for us to all get together!”

It’s just another part of the broader “choose what works” theme in modern baby showers. Parents often want a more relaxed gathering with friends, Kuzon says, while still appreciating a more traditional shower hosted by family. The result: multiple chances to celebrate in ways that feel more personal for the guests (and more manageable for the hosts).

And, of course, there’s the co-ed shower, which is becoming the norm more and more. But it’s not just all genders getting an invite—it’s all ages, and hosts are often making things more family friendly. “We heard [expecting parents] saying ‘Bring your kids,’ and having toys and games for guests’ kids,” Kuzon says. It’s all about celebrating with loved ones, and that means everyone.

Non-Traditional Showers

Speaking of smaller gatherings, they sometimes aren’t even traditional-looking baby showers. 

If you’re hoping for a baby shower experience on a much smaller scale—especially if it’s your second or third baby—then a baby sprinkle might be the way to go. It usually looks like a smaller guest list, smaller registry, fewer games and activities and a generally shorter party time.

Nesting parties are another option if you want something small and intimate (and also has a bonus of being productive). At a nesting party, close loved ones help you prepare your home and nursery for baby’s arrival, sometimes including cooking meals and building furniture!

Sometimes a party before baby comes isn’t in the cards, which is where the sip & see party comes in. That’s literally what it sounds like: sipping on drinks with a few close loved ones and letting them see the baby, typically in the comfort of your own home. You might have a low-key theme and serve some snacks, but there’s no expectation for gifts, games or any of the other big to-dos of a traditional baby shower.

Display Showers (Or No Gift-Opening At All)

Gifts can be a polarizing aspect for the current generation of expecting parents, especially when it comes to opening them in front of a crowd. Plenty of Babylist parents described opening gifts at their baby shower as awkward or exhausting. “They don't look forward to this idea of sitting up in front of everyone, one by one opening each gift and trying to act surprised and joyful,” Kuzon says. For some, she says, “it's just a show that they have to put on.”

She adds that this tradition often serves guests more than parents. “It’s not really for the expecting parent. It’s more like, ‘I do this to say thank you.’”

The remedy that some parents have found: display showers, in which all of the (unwrapped) gifts are on display the entire time, so guests have a better opportunity to see everything the new parents have been given.

Others mentioned that they had shower guests ship gifts directly to their home instead of to the shower host’s home or to the shower location, which eliminated the need to tote everything back and forth, while others simply left the shower gifts wrapped until they got home so they could go through everything in their own time.

Unstructured Schedules and Activities

Forgoing gift opening ties into a general theme of forgoing structure and strict party schedules overall. Instead, modern baby showers are favoring shared meals and open mingling, where guests can mosey and do whatever they feel like, whether that’s chatting, participating in activities or grazing the buffet table. One parent told us they didn’t even plan any games or activities; “we just talked and enjoyed each other’s company.” Another parent leaned all the way into the “do your thing” energy: “We wanted it to be very lowkey for people to drop in and head out whenever they need it.”

This doesn’t mean baby shower games are going away completely. For modern showers, it’s more about replacing certain “traditional” games that feel: 

• Too structured, like baby gift bingo or the blindfold diaper change challenge

• Outdated or too personal, like guess the expecting mom’s bump size 

• Gross, in cases like the “dirty diaper” guessing game (guess which melted candy bar is in the diaper…which looks like poop) or baby food taste testing 

In their place, more parents are gravitating toward open-ended, non-competitive creative activities, like decorating bodysuits or blocks. 

And to encourage a sense of connection with loved ones, many expecting parents are planning baby shower activities centered around storytelling, giving parenting advice and affirmation cards and having guests write letters to baby.

It’s those moments of connection that exemplify how today’s expecting parents are approaching their new traditions. They see baby showers as a way to celebrate their transition into parenthood and their next phase of life—not just to get baby gear. “I think people are starting to realize that this moment in time is just as much, if not more, about becoming a parent than about having a baby,” Kuzon says.

Whether it’s a backyard potluck, a brewery brunch, a movie-themed party or a few small gatherings, today’s baby showers are evolving to reflect the uniqueness of the parents they’re celebrating. 

When asking the Babylist audience “What was the best thing about your baby shower?”, Kuzon says that, without fail, the answer is always: “I was able to be with my loved ones celebrating this milestone. And I got to feel this incredible moment of being surrounded by my village who were all there for me and wanted to celebrate me in this exciting moment in time.”

And that’s a tradition worth keeping.