11 Baby Shower Etiquette Trends for the Modern Era

Having a baby shower can be one of the most exciting parts of prepping for your new addition. Celebrating with family and friends, playing games and receiving special gifts make baby showers a truly special occasion. But sometimes they can also be a little bit…awkward—especially if you’re nervous about following (or breaking) “proper” baby shower etiquette.

Ever since baby showers started gaining popularity in the US in the late 1940s (hello, baby boom), etiquette experts have had something to say about them. Strict rules like “women only,” “the parent-to-be can’t host the shower” and “you have to open gifts in front of everyone” were largely indisputable 60 to 80 years ago.

Some people love sticking with those traditions, but with new generations come new trends. So, which rules are we still following, and which ones are we breaking? We asked hundreds of Babylist users about what they did for their own baby showers, and here’s what they said.

Anyone Can Host—Even the Parent-to-Be

When it comes down to it, there are unlimited options for who can host a baby shower: it can be a close friend, a family member (whereas traditional etiquette says the grandmother-to-be can’t host, we say it’s fine), a coworker, a group of people—or you can host it yourself. Yep, you read that right. It’s totally fine for parents-to-be to host their own baby shower. Some expecting parents might want a certain level of control over the celebration, enjoy party planning, not want to obligate someone to host or may not have anyone else who’s available to help.

When we asked Babylist parents-to-be about who hosted their shower, a whopping 91% said they were involved in planning their baby shower to some degree, with 25% saying they hosted their own baby shower with no other help. “I love planning things like this,” said one Babylist parent-to-be. “And then I have a little more control over what we’re eating and doing, which is nice considering I have zero control over my mind and body while pregnant, honestly.”

Sometimes, the parent-to-be ends up hosting simply out of necessity. “I needed things for the new baby and no one offered to host,” another Babylist parent said. If you need to take matters into your own hands, just be sure to mention to your loved ones that you’re planning the shower. If they’re throwing a surprise party, that might be the time they let you in on the secret!

The Guest List Can Include Anyone

Most of us have heard the classic baby shower rule that only women should attend a baby shower, but more and more expecting parents are having co-ed baby showers so they can celebrate with all their family and friends (not to mention the dad-to-be!). “I was able to have my husband there and he was able to invite his friends,” one Babylist parent told us. “Because there were so many people that have supported us through this whole journey that I wanted to celebrate with, so to me, a girls-only thing didn't feel right.”

The other rule-change happening: allowing kids! “A lot of our friends have little kids,” another Babylist parent-to-be said. “So we're actually opening it up to have them bring the kids. We wanted to prioritize being inclusive of all the people that we want to invite. And so that includes the kids.” Whether or not kids are on the baby shower guest list is entirely up to the parents-to-be, but it’s definitely not a strict no-kids-allowed era anymore.

Invitations Can Be Paper or Digital (Texts Are Okay, Too!)

With baby shower invitations, it’s all about your own preference. Paper invitations are the traditional option, and when we surveyed nearly 2,000 Babylist users, 48% of them said they used paper invitations for their baby showers.

And at the same time, many hosts (about 52%) are opting for digital invites, whether that’s via email, social media or even text. Text invites in particular have become increasingly common for baby showers with a more casual, laid-back vibe. In fact, 10% of the expecting parents we surveyed said they invited their baby shower guests via text. It’s fast, easy and feels more personal, especially if you already frequently communicate with guests by text. Just be sure to include all the important details—like date, time, location and registry information—and consider following up with a calendar invite so it doesn’t get lost in the chat.

The Location Can Be Outside the Box

No matter who’s hosting, finding the right place to have the shower can be stressful. You need to take into account the number of guests, room for any games or activities, food and drinks—you even need to consider the vibe.

While baby showers have traditionally been held at locations like community centers, parks and people’s homes, Millennials and Gen Z parents-to-be are focusing more on how the location fits whatever vibe or theme they want for their baby shower. When we surveyed Babylist users, a significant amount of them said their baby shower was hosted at a local brewery or coffee shop to support the casual vibe they wanted. So if you’re looking for a venue with easy access to food and a less structured atmosphere, you might join in on this growing trend and consider hosting at your favorite local eatery.

Registry Info Can Be Included on Invites

While it was once considered against etiquette rules to explicitly list your baby registry info on invitations, today it’s widely expected (and much appreciated). Sharing registry details upfront makes it easier for guests to choose something they know you’ll love and actually need. If you’re sending digital invites, you can include a direct link to your registry for extra convenience. If you’re using printed invitations, you can include a simple note or registry card with the details, or you can generate a QR code that directs guests straight to your registry. Either way, you’re helping your guests by taking the guesswork and potential awkwardness out of gifting.

It’s Okay to Add Expensive Registry Items

Etiquette experts of yore have said that particularly expensive items (things like furniture, strollers, luxury bouncers) should be left off the registry and purchased only by close family. But if you’re comfortable with a not-as-close relative or friend getting you something expensive, then we see no harm in putting it on your registry. Some baby shower guests may opt to go in together on a pricier item, and our Group Gift feature makes it really easy to do so.

It’s Also Okay to Ask for Money

Another thing etiquette experts have typically warned against is asking for money rather than gifts. But we have two words for them: cash funds. Undecided on what gear you want for your baby? Or maybe your baby will inherit their gear from an older sibling, relative or friend whose baby recently outgrew their stuff. Whatever the case, if you don’t need or want a bunch of items, setting up cash funds means you can still have a registry. You can even use cash funds to request contributions to a diaper fund, childcare fund, college fund or something similar. When you send shower invites, let your guests know then, maybe word it something like: “We don’t need a whole lot. If you want to buy a gift, please contribute to this fund. It’s the only thing we need, thank you.”

Games Can Be Laid-Back

Traditional baby shower games like “guess the baby food” or “diaper relay” can be fun, but they’re not for everyone. According to our survey results, baby showers nowadays are leaning toward more relaxed activities or non-traditional games. Think: DIY bodysuit decorating stations, writing advice cards for the parents-to-be—or even video games, as one Babylist parent-to-be told us about how they brought a Nintendo Switch to their shower. 

Some showers even opt for drop-in activities like massages or lawn games with no official agenda beyond celebrating the parents-to-be. Rather than the traditional competitive (and sometimes embarrassing) games of the past, the goal with modern baby showers is to create a comfortable, low-pressure atmosphere where guests can mingle and enjoy themselves.

Opening Gifts Isn’t Required

Opening gifts in front of a crowd used to be a baby shower staple, but that tradition is shifting. Plenty of hosts and parents-to-be now choose to skip this part of the event in favor of having more time for conversation and connection. If you still want the joy of everyone seeing your gifts without the pressure of opening everything, consider having a display shower instead: guests bring unwrapped gifts and have them arranged on a table for everyone to see at their leisure. It keeps things moving and spares the guest of honor from feeling like they’re in the spotlight. Plus, it helps streamline events with larger guest lists. And when it comes to opening gifts in general, about a third of expecting parents in our survey said they skipped it.

You’re Allowed to Have More than One Baby Shower

It’s becoming increasingly common—and completely acceptable—for parents-to-be to have more than one baby shower for the same baby. Out of nearly 2,000 Babylist parents-to-be, 28% of them said they had more than one baby shower for various reasons. If your friends and family are spread out in different locations, or if they just have very different vibes, then multiple showers can make it easier to celebrate with each group in whatever way works best for everyone. You might have a more traditional shower hosted by family and then a casual backyard get-together with friends, or have separate baby showers in a few different towns or cities so fewer people have to travel. 

You’re Also Allowed to Throw a Shower for the Second Baby

Traditional rules may say otherwise, but every baby deserves to be celebrated. If you’re having your second (or third, or fourth) baby and you still have a lot of gear from your first, you can opt to have a baby sprinkle—a party with fewer gifts, but a special celebration nonetheless. A baby sprinkle can still have a theme, games and food just like a regular baby shower, or it can be low-key. Just check to make sure your baby gear isn’t expired before you forgo gifts.

If it’s been quite a few years since your first baby and you’re in need of new gear (or if you just want new gear in general, which we totally understand), feel free to go all out with a full-blown shower and create a registry for baby number two.

Pro tip: If you already have a Babylist registry for your first little one, it’s super easy to create a second registry. On your registry settings page, you’ll see a dropdown menu where you’ll be able to switch between your active registries or create a new one. You can even copy items over from sample registry templates or from one of your existing registries.