What Breastfeeding Really Looks Like in the Early Days

Breastfeeding looks different for every parent and baby, but there are a few core things worth knowing that can help you start with realistic expectations or make sense of what you’re already experiencing.

As both a certified lactation counselor and a mom who's breastfed two babies with very different breastfeeding journeys, I've learned that there's no single "right" way to breastfeed. I also know how easy it is to fall into late-night Google searches about tongue ties, bottle refusal, or whether you're making enough milk. I've also included insight from Erica Chidi, a doula and author of Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood—and Trusting Yourself and Your Body.

Whether you're preparing to breastfeed or already feeding your newborn, this guide will help you understand what to expect in the early days, what's normal, and when it's time to reach out for support. My hope is that you'll come away feeling more prepared and confident as you navigate your own breastfeeding journey.

Early breastfeeding challenges are common

The early days of breastfeeding can come with a learning curve for both parent and baby. Some initial nipple tenderness is common, and temporary engorgement often takes parents by surprise. Chidi says feeding your baby with your body is a process that develops gradually over time.

Babies are born with reflexes that help them breastfeed, but they’re not necessarily pros at it. They’ll start rooting when they’re hungry, turning their head to the side when their cheek is stimulated, or smacking their lips. They have almost no head and neck control, can’t see very far and are generally still getting used to life outside the womb.

Support is essential for breastfeeding

Breastfeeding isn’t something you have to figure out alone, and getting help along the way is incredibly common.

I met with lactation consultants many times while breastfeeding both of my children. Those appointments helped me work through challenges I couldn’t have solved with another late-night Google search, and they gave me the confidence to keep going when things felt hard.

“You can always reach out to a lactation consultant, postpartum doula, or pediatrician for support,” Chidi says. If breastfeeding is consistently painful, your baby isn’t having enough wet diapers or gaining weight as expected, or something simply doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate to ask for help.

Getting support isn’t a sign that you’re doing anything wrong. For many families, it’s part of learning how to breastfeed, and it’s never too late to reach out. Visit the International Lactation Consultant Association's directory to find one in your area, and check with your insurance to see if the first few visits are covered.

Most parents make enough milk

A super common concern among new breastfeeding parents is whether they're making enough milk. Chidi says it was one of the questions she heard most often from clients. In most cases, the answer was yes.

Chidi points out that the large, full bottles we often see can make it seem like newborns need much more milk than they actually do. Newborns have tiny stomachs and only need a few teaspoons of colostrum, the earliest milk your body produces, during the first day of life. Over the next three to five days, both your baby's stomach capacity and your milk volume naturally increase.

During those early weeks, frequent breastfeeding helps tell your body how much milk your baby needs, which is why feeding on demand is so important for establishing your milk supply. Think of the first few weeks as laying the foundation for your breastfeeding journey.

It's completely normal to wonder whether you're producing enough milk for your baby. While there are situations in which milk production can be delayed or truly low, most parents make enough milk. If you're concerned about your supply, a lactation professional can help determine what's going on and come up with a plan that supports your feeding goals.

Your baby's diapers tell an important story

One of the easiest ways to tell whether your baby is getting enough milk is by paying attention to their diapers. Diaper output is an important clue, especially during the first week of life.

"During a baby's first week of life, there's an easy rule of thumb: as many pees and poops as days," Chidi says. That looks like one wet diaper and one poopy diaper on day one, two wet diapers and two poopy diapers on day two and so on. "By day five or six, most babies start to exceed the daily number of diapers."

If your baby's diaper output follows this pattern but you're still unsure whether they're transferring enough milk, a lactation consultant can perform a weighted feed. They'll weigh your baby before and after a feeding to estimate how much milk they took in.

The contents of those diapers change, too. Your baby's first poop, called meconium, is black, sticky and thick. As your milk volume increases over the first several days, you'll notice your baby's poop transition from dark to greenish, then to the mustard yellow, seedy stools that are typical of a breastfed baby.

Latch is an important part of breastfeeding

One of the most important parts of breastfeeding is getting a good latch. It helps baby remove milk effectively and can make nursing much more comfortable. As Chidi explains, babies should be "drinking at the breast, as opposed to sucking at the nipple," which is why a deep latch is the goal.

To do it, look for baby to open their mouth wide, bring their chin to your breast first and take in both your nipple and some of the areola (the darker tissue surrounding the nipple). Their lips should be slightly flanged outward, not tucked in. A deep latch helps baby transfer milk more effectively and should feel like a gentle tugging sensation rather than pinching or sharp pain. 

While breastfeeding can be uncomfortable in the beginning as your nipples and breasts get used to their new job, it shouldn't be painful. It absolutely shouldn't feel excruciating. Chidi notes that clicking during a feeding, a pinching sensation or cracked and bleeding nipples can be signs of a shallow latch. Persistent pain is a sign that you and your baby may need some additional support with latching or positioning. If you're giving birth in a hospital, ask to see a lactation consultant before you go home. 

The first step to getting a good latch is making sure you're supported and comfortable. Bring baby to your breast, not your breast to baby. Avoid crouching over, which isn't sustainable for frequent nursing sessions and will make your back very unhappy. A nursing pillow can help position baby at breast height, and extra pillows behind your lower back or under your elbows can make a big difference too. Regular bed or couch pillows work just as well for that extra support. It often takes a few tries to find a position that feels comfortable for both you and your baby, and that's completely normal.

Hand expression is an underrated tool

If there’s one breastfeeding skill I wish every parent learned before their baby was born, it would be hand expression. And that’s because it's one of the simplest tools to have in your toolbox and doesn’t require any extra gear.

Hand expression is exactly what it sounds like: using your hands to gently remove milk from your breast. It can help you collect colostrum before birth (if your healthcare provider says it's safe to do so), encourage milk flow during sleepy feeds, soften your breast to make latching easier, ease the discomfort of engorgement or relieve fullness if you're away from your baby when it's time to feed.

Unfortunately, many parents don't learn about it until they're already dealing with engorgement or another breastfeeding challenge. For some parents, hand expression can even work better than a manual or electric breast pump in the early days.

When using hand expression to relieve engorgement, Chidi recommends expressing “just enough milk to feel more comfortable.” The goal is to ease the pressure rather than fully empty the breast.

It's a skill that's much easier to learn before you need it, and one you'll likely use more often than you expect. Before you leave the hospital, ask a lactation consultant to show you how to hand express and if you’ve already had your baby. This tutorial from First Droplets is really helpful.