Your 10-Week-Old Baby

At 10 weeks old, your baby is close to exiting the newborn stage—which, by pediatrician standards, officially ends when baby reaches three months old. And they’re starting to look like it, too. Dr. Chris Klunk, a board-certified neonatologist at Pediatrix Medical Group, says you might notice baby's muscles relaxing little by little (no more weird, sudden tensing up) and fewer jerky movements (so long, startle reflex!). 

As you start to come out of the newborn haze as well, now’s a good time to check in with your partner and yourself about how you’re feeling on this parenting journey. Victoria Murray, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in perinatal mental health, and Dr. Faith Ohuoba, an ob-gyn based in Houston, have tips on how you can feel more connected, both to your partner and other parents.

And finally, while we don’t want to jinx it, your baby will eventually get their first cold. This round of our weekly how-to helps you prepare for the inevitable case of runny nose and congestion, with some key products to have on hand whenever baby’s first cold does strike.

🚼 Baby’s Development 

💪 Relaxing & Uncurling

You may have noticed that your baby’s fists have been balled up since birth. That’s the palmar grasp reflex that we talked about way back in week two—and it’s finally starting to fade. Those tiny fists are opening up intentionally now, and baby is having an easier time relaxing their fingers.

Along with their hands, baby is also starting to relax their arms, legs and other muscles after being reflexively tense for the past 10 weeks. "Basically, they start to open up into less of a ball, or frog posture, and into more of a straight-relaxed state," Dr. Klunk says. "The knees aren’t pulled up the chest as often, the arms unclench from their side and they stretch out their neck and look around, especially in tummy time."

This relaxing and uncurling is a sign that your baby’s nervous system is maturing. To help encourage it, give them plenty of opportunities to stretch out on a flat surface that’s safe and doesn’t pose a fall hazard, like a playmat on the floor or inside a playard. Let baby wiggle around a bit—you can even add it in with tummy time.

Hold toys or your own hands or face about eight to 12 inches away from baby and see if they reach out intentionally. Their hands may not quite be able to grasp their toys yet, but that’s coming soon enough!

You can also test baby’s leg movements and kicking skills by putting noisy toys at their feet. If you’re looking for a tried-and-true option, tons of parents (and babies) love the Kick & Play Piano Gym from Fisher Price—nope, this isn’t an ad, parents just genuinely love this playgym for helping build their baby’s leg muscles and encourage that purposeful kicking.

And as exciting as it is for your baby to start moving around more, keep in mind that this stage is gradual. "This is all going to happen to slowly overtime, so don’t expect big changes overnight," Dr. Klunk says.

😌 Goodbye, Startle Reflex

The flailing startle reflex that you’ve been seeing since your baby was born is also on its way out, alongside any other jerking movements caused by an immature nervous system. Especially after all that tummy time baby’s been doing, their muscle tone is better, helping them be more in control of their movements.

While this means you may not see those cute arm flails when you undo baby’s swaddle, it also means they won’t happen when you go to lay baby down, in the middle of their nap or during feeding, either. Which hopefully means longer sleep stretches and gentler transitions.

Besides, "fading newborn reflexes are an important sign of things to come!" Dr. Klunk says. "Movements still may not quite be as intentional as reaching directly for something, but they are going that way, and while they may wave their arms around randomly in excitement at a familiar face or toy, it won’t be long before they are stretching out for it."

💡Try This with Baby: Baby Massage

Since your baby is getting better at relaxing their muscles all while getting stronger, this could be a good time to try giving them a little massage (seriously!).

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, gently massaging your baby can encourage them to relax their muscles and improve flexibility—especially in their arms and legs, which can be really beneficial right now as they lose the tension reflexes—as well as help with digestion, fussiness and sleep.

But how do you massage a 10-week-old? A lot like you’d do a regular massage—just gentler. Erica Chidi, a doula and health educator, recommends using a small amount of baby-safe oil or lotion (it helps to warm it in your hands first) and starting with soft pressure on baby’s legs and feet, then moving to slow clockwise motions on their tummy. 

Chidi says to keep it simple, and keep an eye on how your baby is responding to it. If they’re relaxed and looking into your face, that’s your cue to continue to their arms and back with the same light, even pressure. But if baby seems fussy, you can always try again another time.

💗 You, 10 Weeks After Baby 

💑 You + Your Partner

Life with a baby can be a whirlwind. You’re navigating new roles, new responsibilities and new schedules—and all of that can mean less time and brain space for real connection. If you feel like you haven’t really spent much quality no-baby time with your partner in months, you’re not alone. 

Even the strongest relationships can feel a little out of sync during the early phases of parenthood. You’re both in a transitional phase as you learn how to be parents, and that often means learning new things about each other and how you work together, too. Not to mention the stress of all the sleepless nights.

"After having a baby, your relationship with your partner is inevitably going to change,” Murray says. “In some ways, you may be brought closer together by this new person that connects the two of you, and in other ways your relationship may be strained by the time, emotional and logistical demands of parenting."

Staying emotionally connected with your partner is really important for mutual support, and luckily experts have tips for how to manage—even if you’re short on time and energy. “Being intentional with your time is key to this phase, from your baby’s schedule to self-care to time with your partner,” Dr. Faith says. “This includes honest, transparent and vulnerable conversations."

Essentially: If you feel like you and your partner could use some quality time together, then talk about it honestly. Schedule a heart-to-heart during one of baby’s nap times or whenever another caregiver is available to watch baby for a bit.

Murray says it helps to do this on a regular basis. “Set aside time every week to discuss family ‘admin’ things like planning meals, social commitments and the to-do list,” she says, “so that you both feel on the same page with communicating your needs for ‘me’ time and sharing the burden of household responsibilities.”

And don’t underestimate the power of a simple date night, Murray says. “Date nights can also be crucial in reconnecting with your partner after having a baby; look into finding a babysitter or family member who can watch your baby. Even trading off with friends can be great ways to get creative in making quality time together.” 

However you get that time alone, you both need and deserve that reconnection. It’ll help you be better partners to each other and better parents to your baby.

😔 Loneliness 

You may be feeling disconnected from more than just your partner—it’s not uncommon for new parents to feel generally isolated from other adults while in the early years of raising a child. 

“Loneliness as a new parent can be all too real,” Murray says. “Especially if you’re a single parent, don’t have many other friends who are parents or your partner travels often or is otherwise unavailable, it can be tricky to get your social needs met when you now have a new baby who’s feeding and bedtime schedule may trump your social calendar.”

Just like when reconnecting with your partner, Dr. Faith says the key word here is intentional. “Intentionally seeking support is important. That can look like support from other family, friends or postpartum groups.” No one else is going to sign you up for a parenting group or other socializing opportunities—that’s something you have to set aside “me time” for and just get out there.

If you’re not sure where to start, Murray says your birthing hospital might have some social options. “Many hospitals have new parent groups where you can connect to other parents with babies around the same age as yours,” she says. “This can be a great way to make friends who relate to you, and to participate in baby-friendly activities rather than feeling like you need to get a babysitter to do anything social.”

Both Murray and Dr. Faith recommend looking online, too. Facebook groups and apps like Peanut can help you find other new parents who live nearby. Dr. Faith also recommends reaching out to a mental health professional. “Having a diagnosis of postpartum depression is not the only way to get support,” she says. A therapist can help you with feelings of loneliness and isolation, too.

It might take effort (and a deep breath), but putting yourself out there—even just a little—can go a long way in helping you feel more connected. And remember that finding your crew doesn’t happen overnight, but a walk with another adult or a group chat of sleep-deprived parents can make this stage feel a lot less lonely.

🧑‍🍼 Feeding Baby 

🍼 Week 10 Feeding Guidelines

• 3–4 fluid ounces per feed, every 3–4 hours; 6–8 feedings per day for a total of 24–30 fluid ounces per day.

💦 When to Change Nipple Flow Levels

As your baby gets closer to the three-month mark, they might be ready for a faster nipple flow. You’ll know your baby is ready to move up a nipple size if they seem frustrated while drinking from a bottle or if their suction is so strong that the bottle nipple collapses when they drink.

But it’s not a one-size-fits-all milestone. If your baby is content, gaining the expected amount of weight and generally eating without a fuss, there may be no need to switch just yet.

If you do try a faster nipple flow, keep an eye on how it affects your baby’s eating. If they start coughing, choking or drooling excessively while drinking, it’s okay to go back down to the previous nipple size and try sizing up again later.

😴 Sleep 

🛏️ Total Sleep: 12–16 Hours

• Naps: 2–3 per day for 2–3 hours each

❓Weekly How-To: Treat Baby’s First Cold

We hope it hasn’t happened yet, but eventually, your little one will catch their first cold—and it might be harder on you than on them. 

Since babies under three months old can’t have medications, and only a small selection of medications between three and six months, you’ll need to rely on a few non-medicated remedies. But the good news, Dr. Klunk says, is that colds are temporary (they usually only last about a week or so). "The most important thing you can do is make sure they are hydrated, suction boogers as needed and watch for warning signs," he says.

Here’s what to do when your baby starts showing signs of a runny nose, sneezing or congestion:

• Use saline spray. Saline nasal spray will help moisturize and soften mucus so it’s easier to remove with a nasal aspirator (the next step).

• Use a nasal aspirator. Babies can’t blow their noses yet, so when they’re congested, it’s up to you to help clear things out. A nasal aspirator, like a bulb syringe or a suction tool like the NoseFrida, removes mucus to help improve breathing.

• Create a steam room. If your baby has chest congestion, steam can help them have a more productive cough. Close the bathroom door, turn on a hot shower and let the bathroom get nice and steamy. Then, sit in the bathroom (outside the shower) with your baby for five to 10 minutes—like a sauna. Hanging out in there for a few minutes will help baby’s airways open up.

• Use a humidifier. You can’t sit in a steamy bathroom all the time. For nap time and overnight, use a humidifier wherever baby sleeps to moisten dry air and help keep mucus loose.

• Check baby’s temperature. Even when it’s a mild cold, it’s a good idea to regularly check your baby’s temperature just in case, since a fever over 100.4°F in babies under three months old can be serious. Be sure you’re taking baby’s temperature safely and accurately, and pediatricians recommend using a rectal thermometer on babies under 12 months old, since they provide the most accurate temperature reading.

When to contact your pediatrician about baby's cold

• Baby isn't eating according to their usual appetite.

• There are fewer wet diapers than usual.

• Baby is acting unusually sleepy or fussy.

• Baby is struggling to breathe. Dr. Klunk says that noisy breathing without any sign of struggle is common in young babies, but fast breathing, sucking in at the ribcage, nostrils flaring or a blue tint on the skin warrant a call to baby's doctor.

When your baby does finally get their first cold, Dr. Klunk reminds parents that "getting sick is unfortunately part of being a kid, and it’s nothing you did wrong. In a lot of ways, they are just getting it out of the way and training their immune systems to prepare for life ahead."

👀 Looking Ahead 

• "Finding" their hands: You may catch baby staring at their fingers. It’s one of the first steps toward hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills.

• Grasping: Your baby will soon be able to briefly hold onto narrow toys (like rattles) or your finger—and on purpose this time, as the palmar grasp reflex starts to disappear.

• Hand-to-mouth movements: Baby’s hand-eye coordination is starting to improve, and you’ll see them bring their hands to their mouth intentionally in order to practice.

🛍️ Panic Order

Tiny Love 
Outdoor Mat

This water-resistant (and super portable) playmat gives baby more chances to relax and wiggle around outdoors.

Buy

Add to Babylist

Babylist$55.99

Amazon$55.99

Motherlove 
Birth & Baby Oil

A gentle, baby-safe oil makes it easier to give your little one a soothing massage—perfect for helping them relax, sleep, and even relieve gas.

Buy

Add to Babylist

Babylist$12.99

Amazon$12.99

Philips Avent 
Natural Baby Bottle Newborn Starter Gift Set

This bottle pack comes with two different nipples, so you can choose which flow rate fits your baby’s feeding needs best.

Buy

Add to Babylist

Babylist$49.95

Amazon$49.25

Haakaa 
Easy-Squeezy Silicone Bulb Syringe

A must-have for baby’s first cold, a silicone aspirator bulb helps clear tiny noses so your baby can breathe (and sleep) more easily. This one is clear and separates into two pieces, so it’s a cinch to keep clean and free of mold.

Buy

Add to Babylist

Babylist$8.39

Babylist$8.39

Amazon$8.99

Frida Baby 
NoseFrida SnotSucker Saline Kit

This parent-favorite nasal aspirator uses gentle suction (and a filter!) to clear out baby’s stuffy nose. Some parents find it even easier (if a little grosser) than an aspirator bulb.

Buy

Add to Babylist

Babylist$20.99

Amazon$16.79

Boogie 
Micro-Mist Saline Inhaler

This gentle micro-mist spray loosens mucus, making it much easier to remove all the gunk with a nasal aspirator.

Buy

Add to Babylist

Babylist$21.99

Amazon$15.98

Target$23.49

Crane 
4-in-1 Cool-Mist Humidifier with Sound Machine - 1 Gallon

Adding moisture to the air can ease baby’s congestion and keep their skin from drying out—especially during cold season or in dry climates.

Buy

Add to Babylist

Babylist$59.99

Amazon$45.96

Walmart$45.96

Target$45.99

Frida Baby 
Quick Read Rectal Thermometer

A quick, reliable digital thermometer takes the guesswork out of temperature checks, so you’ll know exactly when to call the pediatrician. Doctors recommend only using rectal thermometers on babies under 12 months.

Buy

Add to Babylist

Babylist$15.99

Amazon$13.97

Walmart$13.97

Penguin Random House 
Cribsheet: A Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, fro...

10 weeks in, and you may be wondering “How can I prepare for the next milestones?” Or maybe it’s closer to “How do I STOP worrying about milestones and just enjoy the ride?” Either way, Emily Oster’s data-driven parenting guide has you covered.

Buy

Add to Babylist

Target$10.13